Lost the Groove - Where's my Mojo?

Today is one of those days that I wish I worked for a company and not for myself and I could get to say I am sick to go home. Not that I ever did that, but it would be nice to do so once in a while when you're feeling sorry for yourself and it seems that nothing worthwhile is happening in your life - or rather, nothing you do is worthwhile doing as you seem to accomplish absolutely nothing with 18 hours of work per day.

Yep, I am feeling sorry for myself. I guess everyone has those days, its just I am not used to them. Being busy 90% of my waking hours means I don't get much time to ponder things that bother me and which I have no control over. Today though, my attention span is non-existent, my temper short and my patience thin. Why? I have no clue!

Writing usually solves the problem, but today the mojo took a vacation. I have no desire to edit the book I planned to send to the publishers (notice the past tense) nor the inclination to write the myriad of articles needed to maybe someday supplement my income. Going at it for nearly two years with only peanuts to show doesn't exactly create motivation in my mind. Add the dwindling page views (nobody has the answer as to why) and the accompanying revenue drop and you will also feel like slamming the keyboard against the wall and walking out.

Add to the above the fact that a publisher now has been reviewing a novel for nearly 5 months with no answer - not even a peep, you will understand the frustration setting in. Reason? How the hell do I know if the hours spent writing (which is fun) and editing (which is horribly hard work) are good enough to be considered for publishing. How do you motivate yourself to continue writing / editing when you have no clue as to the worth of the stories in your head?

Don't get me wrong. I will keep writing down the stories in my head until the day I die - it is like breathing - a requirement for me to live. Knowing they are not good enough to share with the great world out there, would eliminate the editing process...I hope. Talk to any writer and you will hear that they always strive to do better, to improve their writing skills, to find a way to more effectively tell the story in their minds. Mmm, I foresee a problem. Stories need to be told, which translates to someone has to hear/read them. Editing will thus not be eliminated - a writers ego wouldn't allow unedited work to be displayed.

Darn, looks like I will be stuck with the whole process whether I like it or not. Let me go for a walk and ponder this some more.

Walking is as good as any therapy session - did you know that? While walking on our small farm the sun reflected on the yellowing grass harboring Cape Long claws (Oranjekeelkalkoentjies for the Afrikaans speaking readers) and I realized that I could see. Wow, how many people out in the world are unable to see the miracles of nature and here I am complaining while I can see the wonderland God created.

I can hear the black-collared Barbet fight with the crested Barbet. I can hear the wind rustling the leaves of the acorn trees and feel them floating down on the breeze. How many people will never experience that?


The biggest factor - I can walk! How cool is that?

This blog post just served to lighten my mood. I have NOTHING to complain about and so much to be thankful for. The mere fact that I am able to write this, is a reason to be grateful. How fickle is the mind of a human. We, who are more privileged than at least 60% of the world's population, tend to moan and groan on how bad we have it, but we conveniently forget about war-torn countries where to breathe and be alive is not guaranteed. We forget about poverty-stricken countries where the next meal, how small it may be, is not a given.

Now I am thoroughly ashamed of writing this post in the first place, but like walking, it served to clear my head and focus on what is important in life. YOU HAVE TO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY DAY, EVERY HOUR, EVERY MINUTE. Who knows when some of them will be taken away?

For those of you who read through these ramblings - thank you and may your thoughts always be positive. I'm off to continue editing. Until next time.

Winter Blues in Mpumalanga

Today autumn flipped its leaves into winter. The wind howled around the corners and blew Acorn leaves all over the yard. Suddenly, the grass acquired a grayish tint over the yellow waving stalks. My nose filled with dry earth and my ears rang with the song of the wind begging to be heard. How did I miss noticing the season of the dead approaching? But, does everything die in winter? Or is everything not as it seems? To me, winter signifies rest - not death. Wild seeds rest peacefully underneath the frozen ground, giving the ground above a chance to recuperate after a lush growth period during spring and summer. Grass die down so that it can sprout new shoots when spring arrives. Everything seems to go into limbo, waiting in breathless suspense for the first thaw to arrive. Nights spend in front of a crackling fire, roasting marshmellows and drinking hot chocolate more than atone for the inability to brave the unrelenting wind outside. Snuggling against your loved one - whether human or animal - on a cold winters night, shoveling snow from your porch (hmmm - not very likely in South Africa as we treasure the little snow we get) or slipping on early morning frost when the night covered the grass in a blanket of ice, are memories only winter can provide. In all...I love winter! How do you feel about winter?

African Grey Baby/Chick - 10 Days Old

This African Grey Chick is 10 days old and a complete sweetie. We removed him from the nest a little too early ( I think) but he is feeding well and gaining weight. Two days ago the African Grey Chick weighed 130 grams and today a whopping 160 grams. That is a 23% weight gain.

Being alone seems to be the only problem this little one has, but the soft toy we put in with him appears to help ease the loneliness a little. He is much quieter than the other two, but makes soft noises when he notices you or you stroke him.

He is still a bit "naked" and looking at the tiny shafts of feathers appearing, it seems like he will still be that way for a while. At he moment the down on his head gives him the appearance of a semi-punk (which to me adds to the cute level substantially.)

He likes to eat and because the crop didn't clear enough in two and a half hours, we moved the feeding times to every three hours. (After the short break with the other two, this again takes a little getting used to.)

The other two chicks have settled in well with their owners and the reports I get are that they are absolutely the most clever and most cute parrots ever hatched. Hmm, I thought so from the start, but it's great to get positive feedback from their owners. Needless to say, both are being spoiled rotten and are treated like children in the home.

I hope you will enjoy this journey with the growing African Grey chick as much as we do.

Animal Cruelty - NOT FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS!

WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS!

I considered not posting this story to the blog, but I feel that as many people as possible should be made aware of the cruelty displayed against animals every day. If the post doesn't make sense at times, please forgive me, as I am struggling between utter sadness and being stark raving mad at the moment. Maybe a little background would help you understand why I feel this way.

I have a little dog called Mica. She is a "sort of" Jack Russel Terrier and the absolute light of our lives. We got her from a dear friend when she was seven weeks old and since then she sleeps in our bed, sometimes even eat at our table and is generally the love of everyone at home's life.

She gives unconditional love to everyone and likes nothing more than to just play with you and love you. All she asks is food ( not much by the way) and love - lots of love. Look at the pictures in the slide show and tell me she is not just adorable.




Now the reason for this post is an e-mail I received from a friend. Again - this is not for sensitive viewers. I post the e-mail intact below and request you forward this to as many people as possible.

Our society plays host to a couple of truly sick (evil) people. Understanding how anyone could physically harm another human being is difficult enough, but at least sometimes that other human has a chance of fighting back. Being deliberately cruel to animals I could never and will never understand. This is an unequal fight right from the start and being cruel to a dog, whose inherent nature is to love and protect you, is beyond my brain capacity. How could anyone betray such unwavering trust.

Sorry I ramble on. Here is the post - feel free to comment or to send it on.

THE BACKGROUND STORY


Subject: My name is Lucky Lucy and I was tied to a railway line to be hit by a train.

Hello everyone,

This is one of the saddest stories we have to tell! The pictures are the hardest to look at, I know, but it needs to be seen!

Andre and I went to the SPCA Wellington as we often do to go donate some doggy biscuits, cat litter and rub some of the doggies. We then left to go to the rubbish dump to disperse of our rubbish when a man stopped us to ask if we had a knife. We wanted to know why, so he said come and look! He hopped into the bakkie with us and we proceeded to underneath the R44 bridge next to the railway line, where Andre and I discovered one of the MOST GRUESOME acts of cruelty that the word CRUEL CAN NOT DESCRIBE! Please read below, her story, I tried to put it in words but it's so hard for me, I’m in shock too! The pictures will tell you her own story!

The terror and fear in this doggie is unexplainable! Andre cut her loose and gave her to me to hold, we could see some relief as she took another breath, and as he gave her to me, a train roared past OVER THE EXACT SPOT WHERE SHE WAS A MOMENT AGO! How many trains have gone over her before we found her, is hard to imagine as the trauma she must have faced feeling and seeing the train approach her and she couldn't get away.

We rushed to Market street Animal Hospital where she is presently with our great Vet's Dr. Du Plessis and Dr.van Deventer and Assistant Nurse Adri, who dropped everything to help stabilise her.

We want to go big with this story PLEASE the media need to know about this, we need the public to help us with her and we need the public to see this cruelty.

Circulating this email to your contacts could help too, please.

She is a very strong, special girl!

She has to be stabilized for 2-3 days then Andries Venter, Chief Inspectorate of the Good Hope SPCA offered to do further medical remedial operations by their great team of Vets.

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANDRIES FOR THIS, FOR THE CHANCE TO GIVE HER LIFE AGAIN!

THANK YOU YEAL THAT WE COULD RUSH HER TO THE VET FOR TREATMENT BUT MOST OF ALL THANK YOU THAT WE CAN GIVE HER A CHANCE CAUSE SHE DESERVES IT!!!!

After her operation Andre and I will teach her to love and trust a human again. Then when she is healthy, she will show us who her previous owner is, even if it takes us months, we will find the perpetrator and Lucky Lucy will have her justice!

MY NAME IS LUCKY LUCY AND TODAY I WAS TIED TO A RAILWAY LINE SO A TRAIN COULD HIT ME!

ALL I REMEMBER IS THAT I WAS HAPPY AND PLAYING, I WAS FED AND DIDN’T GO HUNGRY, PERHAPS MY OWNER DID LOVE ME AT ONE STAGE CAUSE I LIVED WELL AND WARM, I WAS CLEAN AND HAD FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH AND I FOUND A BOYFIREND AND CARRIED HIS BABIES, BUT THEN SUDDENLY FOR SOME REASON SOMETHING CHANGED IN MY OWNER.
HE WENT LOOKING FOR A STRONG ROPE, SOMETHING THAT COULDN’T SNAP OR GET LOOSE AND HE TOOK ME WITH HIM, WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD BE THE USUAL STROLL YOU GO ON WITH YOUR OWNER, BUT THEN WE WERE AT THE TRAIN TRACKS AND HE GRABBED ME, TOOK MY BACK HIND LEGS AND STRETCHED THEM OUT TO BE TIED TO MY FRONT LEGS, THEN MY BODY, STRETCHED, WAS TIED TO THE RAILWAY LINE, THEN HE TOOK MY HEAD AND TIED IT TO THE BOLT THAT HOLDS THE TRACK IN PLACE, MY HEAD MUST HAVE BEEN A CENTIMETER AWAY FROM THE TRACK.

THEN HE TURNED AND WALKED AWAY, DIDN’T EVEN LOOK BACK, I THOUGHT AT FIRST THIS MUST BE A GAME BUT HE DISSAPEARED. I DIDN’T K NOW WHAT WAS GOING ON, THEN I FELT THE VIBRATION, THEN I SAW THIS HUGE TRAIN COMING AT ME AND I COULDN’T MOVE, I TRIED WITH ALL MY STRENGTH BUT I JUST COULDN’T MOVE……….

THE TRAIN WENT OVER MY LEG, MY PAW WAS GONE AND MY MUSCLE HAD BEEN RIPPED FROM MY ALREADY SMASHED BONE!

I DIDN’T FEEL ANYMORE, I JUST LAY DEADSTILL AND WAITED TO DIE CAUSE A FEW MORE TRAINS PASSED OVER ME…..I JUST CLOSED MY EYES…..

OUT OF NOWHERE THIS MAN SAW ME, HE SCREAMED AND RAN AWAY ONLY TO COME BACK WITH TWO PEOPLE, THEY JUMPED OUT THE CAR AND CUT MY NECK AND PAWS FROM THE ROPES. I DON’T KNOW IF MY LIFE WAS NOW GOING TO BE OVER COMPLETELY CAUSE WHO WOULD KEEP SOMEONE IN MY STATE ALIVE?

BUT AT THE HOSPITAL I HEARD THE LADY AND MAN SAY, “HOLD ON FOR US GIRL, DON’T GIVE UP, WE WILL GIVE YOU LIFE!”

Now I will try my best to pull through, I know they are asking everyone to pray for me, so I will pray for me too

 

We are excited to tell you all that Lucy's operation went very well. Her leg was amputated above the elbow and she's sleeping and recovering well. Unfortunately though, the pups she was carrying could not be saved.

I hope I am not looking too "hospitally" but I tried posing nicely. I don't know why I feel like I am going to stumble to the side all the time but I think I am doing ok, I ate a great meal this morning again. I think I need to thank A LOT BUT A LOT of people for phoning me here at the hospital, for the people who visited, for the people offering to adopt me and all the people who donated, cause Auntie Richelle told me everyday all about it. I’m hoping that people will see I need the long road ahead to recover and I want to do so peacefully and don't want to move too far away from where I feel safe now, close to my doctor's. I will hope though that all these lovely people who are trying to help me would please try and help my fellow K9's too, they may not have experienced what I have but from what Auntie Richelle tells me (wow she does not stop talking) they also have been through some traumatic experiences and still need the help today, be it with a small donation towards them too or even adopting one in the remembrance of my story it will help me with my rehabilitation that you not only want to help me but them too, cause it could have been any of us!

Thank you very much for all the help, I can't quite understand it all yet but Auntie Richelle says thousands of people want to come talk to me so my ears will be buzzing.

Colette Mang

Swartland and West Coast SPCA

Tel: 022 409 2237

Cell: 083 23 53 285

Fax: 086 609 12 18

If you can still read at this point, please spread the word so that we can try and help to catch the person responsible for this.